Empathy and Compassion

In researching the impact that horse nature has on human relationships, empathy and compassion continually appear. However, it seems that when trying to write about the role of empathy and compassion within the horse/human relationship the end resort is case studies and stories about clients who self report having profoundly benefited from such relationships. There is no viable research that suggests horses are innately empathic or compassionate towards one another; rather it seems that when in the presence of horses humans are able to connect with their “greatest self,” and find the place inside where compassion and empathy reside.

It may be that because horses do not appear to make judgments in the same manner that humans do, we consider them to be “non-judgmental,” and feel safe from ridicule while in their presence. It may be this very characteristic that leads humans to assume that horses are compassionate and empathic.

Growing up in the Salt River Pima Maricopa Indian Community life is different. Gang culture has infiltrated nearly every generation. Children grow up without parents or grandparents due to gang wars. Alcoholism and diabetes run rampant alongside animal abuse and child abuse. The threat of violence never leaves and families sit on the ground in their living rooms, devoid of furniture, to avoid being shot during the regular drive by shootings that occur in many neighborhoods. There is no time for appreciation of beauty, and the reservation land has been devastated by litter, gun fire, dead dogs, and burned homes, making beauty hard to see. Kindness and gentleness are luxuries not afforded to the residents of the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community. The jail is the closest place to a home most of the youngsters know, and they come back frequently, many times for no other reason than to be safe, fed, and cared for. The people working in the jail understand the plight of the juveniles and therefore provide as much nurturing, empathy, and kindness as they can within the context of their jobs.

The inmates of the jail are mixed together in cells, divided by gang rather than by age or by crime. This allows the small facility to keep some semblance of peace between inmates and avoids some of the more major gang related incidents. These young people are incarcerated for all kinds of crimes – from murder, drive by shootings, and rape to petty theft and running away from home. By the time they get to jail, they have seen it all; from watching loved ones killed to taking part in severe animal abuse as a game. Their appreciation and respect for beauty and nature has been buried deep beneath layers of hate, anger, fear, and loneliness.

These young men were introduced to Taja, Shawnee, Suzy Q, Sunny, Excell, and Smokey, a treatment team of horses ranging in age, experience, breed and color, as different from one another as their human counter-parts were from the young clients they were serving. It was quickly realized however, that differences somehow ceased to exist once the men stepped off from the van and had their shackles removed.

The Esperanza staff worked with the SRP-MIC Juvenile Correctional Facility inmates for four years. The changes that occurred for the inmates are almost beyond words. Their resilience and greatness of spirit became apparent within moments of meeting them. It seems that all they needed was a vehicle to help them connect to what was already inside of them, buried deep beneath layers of pain. They were able to put aside generations of hatred, mistreatment, and cruelty and become loving, compassionate, and gentle.

The Story of Taja

A notable memory was of two young men who were in opposing gangs and hatred each other. They had vowed to kill each other if ever given the chance. The strange thing about the two was that they were actually related, and looked so much alike that most of the jail staff called them by the others’ name regularly. In the beginning of their time with horses we kept them separated, because we were aware of their hatred and felt that it was be unsafe to try and bring them together. During their separate weekly sessions each young man chose the horse he was most drawn to. Both of these men choose a small gray Arab mare named Taja. Word slowly got around the jail that both of these men were working with the same horse on different days. Finally after the staff had been working with these two young men separately for many months, we made the decision to try and integrate them into one group. At first things were touch and go; it looked like a fight might be eminent, but suddenly it became apparent that the cause of the argument had veered away from their gang differences and was centered around who would get Taja. They had realized that both of them normally worked with Taja when they came to Esperanza, and now that they were both there together, who would work with Taja? At this point Esperanza staff intervened and it was suggested that because Taja was extremely muddy that day (just luck, or was it?) she needed both young men to work together to brush her. Next thing the guards knew the men were walking off together with a clearly defined plan of how they would brush Taja without getting too close to one another. For the first few weeks they would not talk nor make eye contact. They each stayed on one side of her, thereby keeping Taja’s body between them at all times. They had a strange agreement regarding the use of the shared grooming box. Once one of the men would finish with the curry comb or hard brush he would gently toss it under Taja to the other man so that they never had to ask each other for anything. Somehow they were so observant of the other that this method worked for a number of weeks without the use of the spoken language. They would ride, one leading Taja with the other on top. Never did they do anything that might scare or bother Taja in an effort to frighten the rider, not because they cared for the other human, but because they cared too much about Taja and how that action might impact her.

They both were extremely athletic and learned to ride quickly and well. Soon they were progressing to a saddle, learning two-point, and finally learning how to trot. The first day that they trotted they were so excited that after the riding component of the session we heard all of this noise and commotion coming from their grooming area. We dashed over, ready to break up a fight, and instead found them rolling on the ground in laughter. Apparently trotting had bounced them around enough to loosen their hearts and allow them to laugh together. Over time they learned to canter and even to jump small cross bars. Regardless of their past history, they were always together during the horse component of the session, providing safety support on the ground for the other who was riding. They were constantly competing to show up the other one, and gain more praise from the staff, but they were always careful and respectful of Taja. Within a few months they were housed together in a jail cell, and made a “public” announcement (to their respective gangs) that because they were blood (relations, not to be confused with Bloods, the gang) they needed to stick together. They declared a truce and both gangs allowed them to communicate due to their blood relations. Both of them became less active in their gangs, although neither of them left the gangs entirely.

The Safety of Connection

It was through their complete compassion, love, and respect for Taja that this relationship was made possible. Many other stories exist of individual gang members who made major changes due to their connections with the horses at Esperanza. Young men were able to become consistent and passionate fathers to children they had long neglected. Some made decisions about their use of violence and changed their actions to become more peaceful. A few were able to get completely out of the gang that they had been in. Many of them developed an unspoken truce that did not end at Esperanza, but followed them out onto the streets. Young men would tell of how they ended up in a neighboring gang’s area at night, and got passed by a car full of opposing gang members. Normally this would end very badly for the single misplaced youth out of his “hood,” but, in the car was another “horse therapy” kid, and suddenly the car was passing by, no guns, no stopping, no violence. It happened enough that many of the youngsters joked that they wanted Esperanza sweatshirts that they could wear out at night, because if someone from “horse therapy” recognized them it was safer, and there was less likelihood of violence. As profound as that was, probably the most moving change involved the treatment of animals. All of our students reported a complete cease in their acceptance or tolerance of animal abuse, even going as far as to get into fights to protect an animal that someone else was about to abuse. They reported that since working with the horses they realized that animals had feelings, thoughts, and emotions, and that they did not want to hurt animals any longer.[i]

It is through stories like these that we begin to see how horses allow people to experience true empathy and compassion for each other. Taja did not like one of those young men more than the other; she cared deeply for both of them. This modeled a way of being never before conceived of by these young people, and it was through walking Taja’s way that the men were able to move forward in peace.

Both Schoen and Sheldrake[ii] document similar examples of individuals responding to this sensitivity. Horses take people to new levels in relationship. They, as with other animals, illuminate the healing power of love. Horses seem to allow people to practice new-found skills and due to the horse’s ability to communicate, the individual is able to see the different reactions between a relationship that is healthy and loving, and one that is based on domination and mistreatment. Through connection with horses the SRP-MIC juvenile corrections inmates learned how to “walk in the shoes of the other,” or discover true empathy. Empathy is not the act of feeling sorry for someone else. It is truly the ability to see yourself within the other. When gang members are able to connect with each other, acts of violence towards self and others become more difficult.

Implications of Compassion and Empathy

Imagine if we took the lessons learned from the gang members on the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community out into the world at large. Imagine the change in our global relationships. Imagine the impact that true empathic understanding would have on war. Our reality would shift completely. Empathy in its truest form is possibly one of the most powerful tools we possess if we want to bring about personal and global change. The young men at the SRP-MIC juvenile correctional facility show us the power of that change. They also show us that even when violence is multi-generational and ingrained into the very marrow of their bones, that it is possible to move beyond that reality and co-create something different. These were young, uneducated, inexperienced men, not world leaders with degrees from Ivy League schools, who possess experience, intellect, knowledge, and the endless resources to learn anything that they already do not know. Our SRP-MIC clients model that which our world leaders should look more closely at, empathic understanding and its impact on societal change.

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[i] Personal experience of the author while working with Native American youth at the Salt River Pima-Maricopa Indian Community Juvenile Correctional Department.

[ii] Schoen, A., Kindred Spirits. (New York: Broadway Books, 2001); Sheldrake, R., Dogs That Know When Their Owners Are Coming Home: And Other Unexplained Powers of Animals. (New York: Three Rivers Press, 1999).

 
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